Pappa wants mamma naked
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
