she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
