I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
