Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
