So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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