I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
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