I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
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