i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
