why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
