She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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