oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Randomize
