Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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