i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
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