Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Holy shit dude........stairs
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Randomize
