Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
