does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
