I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
