In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
