I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
