you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
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