if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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