If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
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