elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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