So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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