White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
and you fell through a lawn chair
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
