Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
She told me I should be a condom model.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
