dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
