Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
