and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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