you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Randomize
