just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
