would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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