The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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