Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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