We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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