Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Why is your signature on my underwear?
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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