Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
