Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
