I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
