i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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