does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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