Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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