nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
