your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
