Ketchup is God's man juice
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Randomize
