Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
