This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
