So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
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