Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
