Got a toothbrush?
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
