so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
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