Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Randomize
