That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
