I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
