He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
