my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Randomize
