She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
