I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Randomize
