how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Randomize
