I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
