Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Randomize
