she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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