I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
