it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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