The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
